Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Husband. Show all posts
Driving with wife, drinking, speeding, husband and wife jokes, latest funny message

A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over.

The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?"

The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding."

The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles."

"SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite."

Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?"

"No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that"

"WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!"

"Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!"

Curios, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?"

"No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"

power of wife, woman, shopping, purse, husband, comedy jokes, english jokes, latest funny message


A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.He couldn't control his curiosity and asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?"

She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.

Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing.

He said your husband has blocked your credit card.

MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband



Story continues....

Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills.

Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

Moral: Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE
Wife khichadi banau ya biriyani, husband wife joke, comedy jokes on wife, latest funny message


Latest Funny Message

Pati patni joke, ek patni, 2 patni, comedy jokes, pati jokes, patni jokes, comedy jokes, latest funny message


Latest Funny Message



Agar aapki 1 patni hai

Toh vo aapse ladegi.

Magar aapki 2 patni hain

Toh vo aapke liye ladegi....

Feel the diffrence

(Sender not responsible, Try at your own risk)

Yoga joke, husband and wife, comedy joke on yoga, latest funny message

Husband gets ready to go for yoga. Wife wakes up

Husband: Honey are you coming along with me for yoga?

Wife: What do you want to say!! I am fat?

Husband: No problem, don't come if you don't feel like!

Wife: What do you mean?? Am i lazy??

Husband: Honey .. Why are you getting angry??

Wife: That means i fight with you all the time?

Husband: When did i say that?

Wife: So it means i am lying??

Husband: Okay fine i am not going!!

Wife: I understand everything, actually you didn't want to go!!

The Husband decides to remain silent and goes off to bed!

Husband and wife joke, before marriage, after marriage, comedy jokes, latest funny message


Before Marriage:

Husband : Yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait

Wife : Do you want me 2 leave?

Husband : No! don't even think about it

Wife : Do you love me ?

Husband : Ofcourse! over n over!

Wife : Have u ever cheated on me?

Husband : No!y r u even asking?

Wife : Will u go on wid me on picnic?

Husband : Every chance I get!

Wife : Will u hit me ?

Husband : R u crazy?I'm not that kind of person!

Wife : Can I trust u?

Husband : Yes..

Wife : My Sweet Darling!



After Marriage:
Now simply read from bottom to top


Girlfriend :
Mai Apke Letters K Stamp
Tickets Ko KISS Krti Hu
Unhe Apke  LipS Ne Chhua
Hoga...

Boyfriend :
Par Mai To Unhe Apne Kutte Ki
Naak Se Gila Kr K
Chipkata Tha....

--------------------------------------------------------------

Agar aapki 1 patni hai
toh vo aapse ladegi
Magar aapki 2 patni hain
toh vo aapke liye ladegi
Feel the diffrence
(Sender not responsible,
Try @ ur own risk)

--------------------------------------------------------------

पत्नि मायके से वापिस आयी .....
पति दरवाजा खोलते हुये जोर जोर से हसने लगा

पत्नि: ऐसे क्यो हसं रहे हो .....??
पति: गुरूजी ने कहा था कि जब भी मुसीबत सामने आये उसका सामना हंसते हुए करो

--------------------------------------------------------------

एक दिन भगवान ने एक
आदमी की मेमोरी डिलीट कर दी.
फिर उससे पूछा क्या तुम्हें कुछ याद है ?
आदमी ने अपनी पत्नी का नाम
बता दिया ….

भगवान हंसकर बोले – “पूरा सिस्टम
फॉर्मेट कर दिया पर वायरस फिर
भी रह गया …. !”



एक औरत बाबाजी के पास गयी....

औरत: बाबाजी मेरा पति घर आते ही मुझे बहुत मारता-पीटता है।

बाबाजी: ये लो ताबीज। जैसे ही पति घर आए,अपने दाँतों के नीचे इसे दबा लेना।

7 दिन बाद औरत बाबाजी के पास दोबारा आयी और बोली: बाबाजी ताबीज का बड़ा फायदा हुआ। अब मेरा पति मुझे मारता-पीटता नहीं।

बाबाजी: फायदा ताबीज से नहीं बल्कि जुबान बंद रखने से हुआ है।

---------------------------------------------------------------

टीचर: 'उसने आत्महत्या कर ली' और
'उसे आत्महत्या करनी पड़ी',
दोनों का अंतर बताओ।
छात्र: पहला बेरोजगार था और दूसरा शादीशुदा!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------

अब तक का सबसे Positive Joke

पत्नी -
मैं आपसे बात नहीं करूंगी

पति -
ठीक है

पत्नी -
क्या तुम कारण नहीं जानना चाहते ?

पति -
नहीं,मैं तुम्हारे फैसले की इज्जत करता हूँ.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Doctor: "हाँ बताइये, क्या तकलीफ है?"
.
लड़की: "उल्टियाँ हो रही हैं..."
.
Doctor: "क्या खाया था?"
.
लड़की: "प्यार में धोखा..!!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

पप्पू पहली बार पत्नी को लेने ससुराल गया
खाने को पकवान बनाये गये
.
.
सास ने पूछा- आपको कौनसी डिश पसंद है
.
पप्पू- शरमाते हुए बोले
"जी Tata Sky 

Never agree for their mistakes, family jokes, woman, husband, driving, hignway, latest funny message


A Woman Was Driving 1st Time On The Highway.

Her Husband Called & Said
" Be Careful Love, It's Just Been On The Radio, That Someone Is Driving Opposite To The Traffic On The Highway "

She Replies "Someone....? These Rascals Are In Hundreds!!!"
Boyfriend Vs husband joke, boyfriend comedy jokes, husband comedy jokes, girlfriend boyfriend jokes, hindi faadu comedy jokes, funclub



Ek lady apne boyfriend ke sath ghum rahi thi..
.
ke itne me uska husband aa gya or
boyfriend ko marne laga..
.
.
Ye dekh kar wo lady boli:
"Mar gadhe ko, apni biwi ko to
ghumata nahi, dusron ki Biwi
ghumane le aate hai..

itne me boyfriend ko josh aaya or wo
husband ko marne laga
.
.
Lady: "maar saale ko, na khud
ghumane le jata hai na kisi aur ko ghumane deta hai...

comedy jokes on married life hindi, hindi husband wife jokes, comedy husband wife jokes, faadu comedy jokes, funclub


Jitne channel Tv ke,
Utne nakhre Biwi ke,
Tv chalta hai remote se,
Biwi chalta hai Note se.

-----------------------------

Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!

-----------------------------

Different roles of Man in life:
Sagai ke samay superman,
Shadi ke samay Gentleman,
10 saal baad watchman,
20 saal baad Doberman.

-----------------------------

Biwi vo hoti hai jo,
Shaadi ke pati ki sari aadato ko badal deti hai,
aur baad me kehti hai ki,
"Aap pehle jaise nahi rahe".

-----------------------------

Hum ne zindagi ki shuruaaat 'S' se ki.
S se Suraj, S se Subah, S se Swagat, S se saaz, S se Sangeet.
Par Fir 'S' se Samay ne aisi karwat badli Ki 'S' se hamari Shadi ho gai.
Aur fir jeevan ka arth 'S' se Saans,
Sasural, Sala, Sali, Sasur aur 'Sankat' ho gaya.

-----------------------------

Sagai Hui... Shadi Hui...
Biwi Ghar Mein Aayi...
Ghar Swarg Ban Gaya...
Aur main "Swargwasi"...

-----------------------------

Shaadi par wife boli:
Aaap mere pran nath aur mein apke charno ki dasi.
Shaadi ke baad woh ho Gaya Charandas aur,
woh ho gayi prano ki pyaasi.

-----------------------------

Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Aur kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta.

-----------------------------

Wife: Main galti se khane ke saath rumal bhi kha gai
Husband: Konu baat nahi, apna bachcha aayega to "pagdi" pehan ke aayega!

-----------------------------

Achii aur buri biwi mein kya farq hai?
Answer: Kya matlab?
Biwiyaan achii bhi hoti hai kya?

-----------------------------

Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai.

Funny husband and wife jokes in hindi, comedy jokes, husband and wife sms, Pati Patni jokes and message, husband wife jokes hindi


 Funny #Husband and #Wife #Jokes | #Funclub

Patni: mai driver k naukri se nikal rhi hu kyuki mai aj dusari bar marte marte
bachi hu...
Pati: plz darling,use ek mauka aur deno na.....plzzz


Patni: janu bag pack kr lo maine lotry mai 10 crore jita hai
Pati: darling bag mai winter ka kapde dalu ya summer k?
Patni: jo bhi dalna hai dalo,aur dafa ho jao yaha se.....


Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija


Pati patni mandir main!
Pati-tumne kya manga?
Patni-Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-Aur aapne.
Pati-Ye mera saatwa janam ho


Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.